


Dear Clay

by benevolent_bear



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Fluff and Angst, Hopeful Ending, Hurt No Comfort, Implied/Referenced Cheating, M/M, Post-Break Up, all characters but george are just mentioned, fluff kind of???, im sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-02
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-15 02:28:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29801562
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/benevolent_bear/pseuds/benevolent_bear
Summary: Dream's getting married. George isn't. He writes Dream a letter.(It's just a letter hence the length)
Relationships: Clay | Dream/Floris | Fundy, Clay | Dream/GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 59





	1. Dear Clay

**Author's Note:**

> Heavily inspired by Love by Daughter :) great song that rips me up inside

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> George writes Dream a letter.

Dear  ~~ My Dream  ~~ Clay,

You're getting married. To a man who's not me. I always thought in the end it would be me walking down the aisle to you, given all we have been through to get to where we were. How many years it had taken for us to fall in love. Now it's him. I can't forget it, the months I spent on the receiving end of your affections. But that’s gone. You spent a night by his side and now you’re betrothed to him. I know you regret it, the way you left, you've told me a million times, but I still wonder why.

You’ll look good in whatever you choose to wear, I know you always made comments about wearing a dress at ~~our~~ your wedding. The image of you in a white dress used to send my body alight with pure love, now all it serves to do is send bile up into my throat. You dressed up so gorgeously for him when it’s meant to be me. Me who unlaces the bodice at night, me who watches you twirl in my arms, me who gets to hear you say I love you in our vows.

You left me, you left me for him. Whilst I am left cocooned in my own self doubt and the void that you have left inside me. My fingertips still burn, they itch with the memory of your hand in mine. Do you remember how perfectly fit our hands were? Whenever our fingers interlaced I was flooded with this warmth that sent a fluttering through my chest. Nick has tried to be there, to hold my hand when everything becomes too much - when I've dreamt of your smile and bittersweet words one too many times - but it's never the same. I'll never love him like I did you, like I do you. 

I'm left to think back to our months of love and how much I poured into them, whilst you lay there in false passion. Our nights of loveless love I hope they made you feel good. Knowing how much I adored you. It's making me feel sick, the thought of your hands on my skin and how much I still crave it. I can't stop thinking about you're now laying your hands on his body the way you did mine but maybe now with more love than you ever did with me. Did you ever really love me? The way you walked out of my life so effortlessly makes me think not. 

That night, what did you whisper to him? What were the words he said to you that made you leave me the very next day? Were his hands on your naked skin that magical? I can’t stop. I can’t stop hearing your voice call out his name instead of mine when I close my eyes at night. You knew this would leave me bleeding inside. I just never thought I meant so little to you. 

Did he make your heart beat faster than I could? Does he set alight the flame inside you that I could never learn to ignite? Were you bored with me? Does Fundy give you all of the things I never could?

I have all of these questions I want to ask but the mere thought of knowing the answer is nauseating. I don't want to think about his hands on you, for you are the only one that I have ever loved. I just need to know was it worth it? Was it worth it tearing my heart apart piece by piece for him? 

By the time I hear back from you, if I ever do, you’ll be a married man. There will be no hope of you ever being mine again. I just want you to be happy Clay, that’s all I’ve ever wanted. If he is what makes you happy I won’t stand in the way, even if it tears me up inside. 

Treat this letter as a goodbye, even if it is me pouring out my pain to you. Now that you are married I can’t bear to see you anymore. Please don’t seek me out, it will hurt too much. I’ll cherish our time together, even if their memory brings me pain. 

Forever yours, Georgie. 


	2. Dear Georgie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dream writes George back.

Dear My Georgie, 

I was getting married. I’m not now. Although, by the time you get this letter you probably would have heard that news. I found your letter the morning of the ceremony and simply couldn’t go through with it. My heart has always been yours, to hear yours breaking devoured me completely, it sent me into a pool of darkness I am still struggling to pull myself from. 

You write of our love as if it wasn’t that, love. You write as if I haven’t looked at you as if you hold the very world in your palms since the day I met you. I never want you to look back on our days and doubt the way I held you tight, the way I kissed you. George I have never loved anyone the way I love you. I am lost in each and every part of you. 

In your letter you asked if I remembered how our hands fit together. I do, when our hands were interlaced it were as if the world had ceased to exist, all that was left was you and each groove and indentation on your palms. His hand felt like poison in my fingertips, blistering the skin and burning my bones. I ached for your hand, for the way you cupped my cheeks with the softness of a thousand lovers. 

That night I did not feel his hands upon my naked skin, I never have and nor did I ever want to. I haven’t wanted anyone else’s hands but yours on me for longer than I can remember. That night was the worst night of my life, akin to the day I received your letter. I am still haunted by the threats he imposed upon you, the lies he fed me of you in Wilbur’s arms. I was a fool to believe him when you loved me as wholeheartedly as you did. 

I did choose a dress in the end, for my mind was always wanting to wear matching suits with you at our wedding, no matter how many times I joked about a dress. Your words of wanting to be the one to unlace it sent shivers down my spine, made me dizzy with the love that I feel for you. I’ll scream it from the rooftops, I love you. I love you the way that a man loves their God. I worship your every move, every thought, every breath. 

To answer your questions, no, he never made my heart beat faster than a resting rate whilst you have always sent it whirring. The mere mention of your name sends my heart thumping into my throat even after all of these years. You sewed the seeds of devotion into the pits of my stomach where they grew and grew until they tightened around my heart, squeezing tightly to where I am forever claimed as yours, even whilst we are parted. Any fiery burns of passion I may have are all put in place by you. You have fed every desire I have ever had, encouraged me at my weakest when nobody else would. I owe everything to you, you are the fire behind my eyes. I could never be bored with you Georgie, every day that I woke up with you between my arms felt like the first time. I can still perfectly picture your sleep soaked features in the early morning sunlight. You are a beauty to behold, My Love. Fundy is hardly even half of the man that you are. But then again, nobody could ever compare. All of my attention has always been lost on you, in a crowded space you know it is always you I’ll seek out. The one who I will find amongst the sea of bodies. 

I can only imagine how you have felt these past few months when just the thought on Nick holding your hand instead of me caused my bones to rest uneasily beneath my skin. George I never wanted to be the one to break your heart but in my foolishness I have done. I’d be a fool to ask you for another chance, to repair what I have broken, but all I have ever been is a fool for you. 

There are many things I need to do in order to regain even a fragment of the trust that you once had for me but I will do everything it takes for even just a slither of your love. This letter is the start, this is the beginning of me trying to win you back, if you’ll let me. If you had rather I never see you again, I will accept it no matter how much it will wound me. 

I love you with all that I am, was, and ever will be. My Georgie. My love. I’ll give you the world if you were only to ask for it. 

Forever yours, Clay


End file.
